2010 Numbers and New Year's Resolutions

Well, I dont have much writing news, as I have been taking a break for the holidays. It always makes me feel somewhat guilty to stop writing, but honestly, it's just too hard. So many people around, and when I manage to sneak off unobserved to write, I feel like an alcoholic sneaking off with a bottle of wine or something. So I get the guilt either way, only if I try to write, I have assorted other people to answer to, not just myself.
So I've read a bit of my writing, a little proofreading of my more immature stuff I wrote a long time ago, but I haven't been writing. But soon, soon.
So I thought I'd do my agent quest totals so far. They don't look very encouraging, I know. But it's a long hard road, so I'm sticking with it a little bit longer. Here's how things stand now.
Query letter revisions: countless, but I've sent out 3 different versions, and I have a new one for after the new year starts.
Query letters sent via snailmail: 5
Query responses via snailmail: 2
Queries sent via email: 23
Query responses via email: 5 (all canned)
Requests for partials: 0
Requests for fulls: 0

Yes, it looks quite sad. But my goal for the new year is to query all the agents on my list (60ish) for fantasy, finish my YA book, and query the agents on my YA query list. Oh, and I'm sure I'll need a new, thicker skin for Christmas next year, so someone put that on their shopping list please.

Happy New Year All!

And it's on to the next one...

So I finished my book. Now what? Do I begin to polish to a shine all the pages of my last seven books? Do I reread them for obvious things I missed, loose ends and discrepencies? Do I pine for my characters gone by? Do I begin the dreaded sentence by sentence passive verb/"that" purge? No. I'll tell you what I do. Not what 'real' writers do (because what the heck is a real writer anyway, and what do I know about them?) but what I do.
I start writing the book that's been hanging out in the discreet brainwaves somewhere obscure enough to finish my other series but still prominent enough to annoy the crap out of me.
No idea where it's going, but I have the idea planted pretty well in my brain by now. So here goes nothing. Or who knows, maybe something.

Drumroll please...

It’s finally done. Yes, I mean the whole series.

After six months and a few days, numerous plot-holes, a few close-calls on the nervous breakdown front, it’s finally over. After many nights that would have turned me into a pumpkin if I’d been Cinderella (dammit, I’m not), many more nights of writing past the decent bedtime hour of anyone past the age of twenty four, after a few sleepless nights. After stalling, hitting holes in the road, holes in the story, holes in my brain; after getting depressed, elated, angry, hopeless, frustrated, stuck, unstuck, stuck again, inspired, down, up, around and sideways. After three extra books, many new and unexpected character hijackings, and even more chocolate bars, I’ve finished my last book in the series. I did it! I did the impossible and wrote and entire series, beginning to end, tied up all the loose ends (I hope—*biting nails*), brought the whole thing to a point where I was finally ready to push those babies off, wave goodbye, put the basket in the stream, and let the current take them away to their fate. Goodbye all you vampires, good bad and ugly. I’m finally done, ready to move on and wash my hands of you.

I am finally, finally, at peace and feel the story is done, or at least my part in it. I can walk away with a smile.

Or at least start revising.

Getting out of a funk.

I really only have one good tip for this. Get off your butt and write. Sometimes you write something really amazing (or at least you're tempted to think so at the time) and it makes you feel all better. Or at least marginally better. And then you feel all shiny and happy and prolific, or maybe you just wrote three pages but it fit two really great pieces together that didnt quite turn smoothly--kind of like cartilage. You need those pieces of cartilage for your story to flow. And then, even if you only wrote that 3page piece of cartilage, at least you know your two really great scenes now flow smoothly from one to the other.
When I get depressed/hopeless/think what's the point, I'll never even find and agent, let alone a publisher, the last thing I want to do is sit down and write my story (after all, it's probably my story's fault that agents tend to ignore my queries, right?) But if I suck it up and force myself to write, I generally feel a little better about my story at least, if not about my prospects.
Speaking of, I should probably go find some more agents to annoy...
:)

writing while intoxicated.

tonight i plan to have a drink, and do some serious writing. unfortunately, all i have is lemon vodka (dont even know WHAT i was thinking when i bought that) and it goes with...well, nothing i have. but i dont think i'll be feeling all that picky when i sit in front of a blank screen until my eyes cross and try not to write the yucky stuff i know is coming up next. ah, well, bottoms up i guess.

this calls for a stiff drink

Well, I think I've figured out one of the great misunderstandings of the writing world. People always say great writers are drunks because it inspires/unleashes their creativity--see Hemingway, Thomas, Poe, etc, etc, the list goes on and on. But I think maybe it's the search for an agent that inspires such raging binges. At least I know the urge would be mutually shared among most of the writers I know. And I have to admit, you need a strong stomach and a ego of steel to deal with the rejection.
At first, I didnt like the whole, "if you dont hear from us, we're not interested philosophy" of agencies. Now I"m reevaluating my opinion. It's like a mercy-killing. I think I'd rather not hear back and forget I ever sent the query than get the standard rejection, or worse, the personal and non-standard rejection letter. Sent from an Ipad, no less. Ouch. After reading that one, I pretty much wanted to go down to the liquor store and buy a fifth of whiskey. I didnt. But it might have made taking the rejection a little easier.
So, I dont know about the whole writing thing. Maybe it's just 'not meant to be,' or maybe that's an easy way out, and what I really mean is, I'm not sure I'm cut out for the whole business. I mean, if I have trouble with this, the other parts will only get worse. I'm assuming so, anyway. And who wants that? So in my discouragement, I pushed my last vampire novel aside and started writing something else. But only 11 pages of it. We'll see where this goes. Maybe it will turn into something, or maybe it will go into another folder of all the other books I've started and written from 1-80ish pages of before I lost interest. I have good ideas. They just don't always pan out into a story. Sort of like this whole writing thing.

blogger betrayed me.

so i had a facebook badge on my blog, and somehow i inadvertently took it off, and now for some reason i can't figure, i can't get it back on! it's not offered as an option--i can only add gadgets. Damn you to hell, blogger!!! I need my FB!

Editor.

So I finally heard back from my friend the editor. And on Tuesday, she will officially be MY editor. I think. I hope. If I can afford her. And even though I was told by an agent that vampires are so yesterday. Apparently I missed the memo that it's all about angels nowadays. But come on, bad guys are way more fun to write about.
Well, that's about it. Got to get back to editing so I can get my draft to my editor. (You can't see it but my eyes are rolling).

Passivity.

So I've read my first vampire book maybe twice. mostly i just want to read the story, and make little proofreading and gramatical corrections (how my spellcheck didnt catch WEKK when i meant WELL is a mystery i will never understand). but now i'm getting a real editor (i think) so i dont want to send her an embarrassingly bad first draft! so i'm trying to reword pretty much every sentence...or a lot of them anyway. i had no idea that my mind had such a passive voice! sometimes it can't be helped and i just have to leave it, but seriously, i got so tired of seeing the word WAS i WAS about to scream!
when i'm first-drafting, i mostly just want to get the story down. i dont pay much attention to things like word choice or verb choice. Sometimes i can't think of the exact word i want to say, so i put in the closest one i can think of and go on. the goal in the first draft is just to get it all out there and hope it turns into some kind of plot--i just want to say this is what  happens, what he did, what she said. i find the place i need least editing is in dialogue--i want the characters to speak naturally, not worry about using passive voice. but in the prose, i am bogged down by it. trying to change a paragraph with 2 WASes per sentence in every sentence is a frustrating experience, let me tell you! and very very slow. i get caught up in reading some dialogue that moves the story along so quickly, and before i know it i'm so caught up in the story i realize i'm not editing at all, and i have to go back half a page and get all those WEREs and WASes. i can't exterminate them all, but i do my best. it is a slow arduous progress. And no, i dont care if my blog is passive voice!
my last word on the subject: DIE WASsy WASes, die!!!!

it's been a while....

Well. Thanksgiving is over and like I suspected, I had about zero time to write. And here I thought I might finish my last book in November. Oh, well. It's been a harder road than the others--so much happens, and i have so many loose ends to tie up. So far, only one major surprise for me...writing along and I'm like, "what? where did that come from? oh, crap, how is that going to affect the plot? now I'm going to have to twist and turn everything even more so it meets at the right spot, ie, the end." Well, I guess I can't plan everything. I know some people believe in that, but I'm not of that school of thought. I'm more of a go with the flow sort. So I'm going.
I know generally what happens for the rest of the book, but getting it all down and making all the stories meet at the right time is a difficult thing for me. Plus, when new plot twists pop onto the screen as if by magic, it makes things even harder! I mean, sheesh. Things seem to be getting further apart instead of closer together. And I'm already fifty pages past the longest one of my other books. So we'll see. I'm either going to have a really long last book or have to split it in two. I'm just going to write the whole thing out before I decide. I have a pretty good shift midway through, so if I need to, I can split the book. And seven is a good number for a series. However, it would take some major tweakage of the new beginning and I'd have to add in backstory. So who knows. Maybe just a clunker of a last book.
Well, I should get back to my hungry vampires....

RAWR.

severely bummed that i spent hours researching and falling in love with certain agent, only to be shot down like a doe in deer season. bleh.
on another note, do i really have to be antisocial to be a writer? i mean, sheesh. i really want to write, but i have all these other obligations...are ALL my friends born in november? sheesh. how many birthdays am i obligated to go to? not to sound ungrateful, i love my friends. i want to be a good friend. but i also want to sit on my butt and spew a good 30pgs one night. but with work, and friends, and all these birthdays...is there ever enough time to do what you love, do what you need, and do what you're obligated to do?
phew. got that off my chest.
so it's another night away from my dear, sweet, bloodsucking vampire. sigh. and next week will be pretty much a bust in terms of writing. i'll be too busy stuffing my face to type a word. my goal was to get this baby done by December. now i'm thinking, by christmas. need to get the 1st draft all wrapped up before too many breaks dull my inspiration.
Happy Thanksgiving, world!

distractions in unlikely places

is it wrong to say i really really love reading what i wrote a while back? i still remember what happened of course, but somehow it doesnt make me like reading it any less. when i start reading my old stuff, i cant seem to stop! haha, i guess i'm an egomaniac after all. but i'm banning myself from reading my old stuff until i finish my last book in the series! it's really hard! not b/c i'm uninspired, but more along the lines of, i'm disturbed by the things my characters are doing, and i really dont want some of them to happen. grrrr. but i have to buckle down and make myself write. not for a few days though. my day job is calling.

getting out of a slump.

So, i had a small writer's slump for about a week to ten days. i thought i might literally lose my mind. But i refuse to submit to the term 'writer's block' as it sounds very painful, and about as final as death. Well, my writer's slump came to a glorious conclusion and i churned out about 50 pgs today. So, here is my official list of tips to end writer's slump/brain drain/inspirational drought/or whatever other term you like.

Tip #1: Go for a walk. do not bring music, a book, or anything distracting. daydream about that glorious day when you'll be published, your characters, the characters from another book you wrote, someone else's characters, or what you'll say if you ever meet Jake Gyllenhaal, or who would play your characters in a movie (that last one is my favorite).
Tip #2: Read over the stuff  you've written before. This can help or not. I did a lot of this during my slump, ended up reworking and changing one of my endings, possibly throwing out an entire book. but when my ending was done, i knew that had been my calling, and i'd been stuck partly b/c i needed to go back and fix that. once i did, i was ready to get back to my current story. However, i also think that reading whatever you've written in a book so far will help you write the rest. I was lost in my other characters from another book, but rereading what i'd written up to this point made me want to write about these characters, now.
Tip #3: Skip ahead. My brain tends to work faster than my fingers (thank goodness), so sometimes i have ideas that have nothing to do with a current scene, but are still inspired. Sometimes i leave them alone and let them marinate for a while, and when i'm ready for the scene they've polished in my mind. but not very often. usually, i think and rethink the scene while i'm walking, driving, working, or doing something else requiring little attention. i think, wow, this scene is really inspired and great. Then later i write it down and it's crap. So my best suggestion is to write it down while it's fresh and shiny in your mind. Yes, maybe it happens in chapter 48, and i'm only on chapter 15. Or maybe it happens in book 6, and i'm only on book 3. doesnt matter. write it down. it's in my mind, so it needs to be spewed. maybe i'll use it, maybe i wont. maybe by the time i get there, it's summer instead of winter, and i have to change the snow to rain, or a hundred other little things. but it's usually better than if i dont write it down right away. Also, if i'm having a hard time where i am, it helps to write something that's inspiring me. it makes me want to keep writing to get there.
Tip #4: Switch POV. Someone told me adding a new character always gets them out of a writing slump. that doesnt help me. but writing from a different character's POV helps me tremendously. maybe that other one is boring me, or not much is happening with him, or i have so many things that need to happen that i'm overwhelmed. if i stop and leave that story for a bit and write about a different character and what's going on in her life, i'm fresh when i go back. That also just happened to me.
Tip #5: be flexible.
this goes back to the last two. when i was stuck, i kept staring at the screen, reading the last few sentences, dragging out a few more. Then i had an inspiration, and it wasn't from any of the characters i'm writing about. But so what? So maybe this book will have 7 POVs instead of the usual 4. maybe i'll cut some of them out later. But you know and love all the characters so far (or know them anyway) so you won't be lost if i go ahead and halfway through the book revert to some people you haven't heard from for 3 books. Right?

so that's it. those are my writing tips for ending a slump. i'm sure there are a gazillion more, but that's what worked for me. Also, thank your characters who got you out of your slump. on that note, thank you Marisol, Milton, and Meyer. My reverting M&M&M's stories jump-started me. i'm sorry for the fateful end of one of you, but hey, somebody had to do it. :( Just because i killed you doesnt mean i love you any less.

writer's...glitch?

so, i'm not going to use the term writer's block for what's going on right now, but i think it's like three counties over from where i am. i think the problem is this: i'm third of the way through my final book, the threads are not pulling tightly together, i dont want to write ANOTHER book, and i'm not sure how to fix it. plus, i really think my subconscious is sort of freaking out that it's my last book, so it's just stalling and not giving me anything good. you know, breaking up is hard to do or whatever. i dont want to end it because then i have to say goodbye to my characters, and i love them too much!
i thought maybe i'd give it a rest so i've just been proofreading some old stuff i diddled around with last year, but i sort of got sucked into that whole world, and now my vampires are just sitting there waiting and i dont know how to give them a kick-start. anyhoo, my giving-them-a-rest thing didnt really work out so well.
maybe i'm just stalling because i dont know what on earth i'll do with myself when i'm done. i mean, what if all the ideas are gone? when i have nothing left to write about...and i'm finished...then what? i guess i could edit, search for agents, fix my disaster of a query letter, write the suggested 5-pg synopsis. But it's not the same. it's not organic. it's not creating. i like the word-spewing, finger-flying, brain-absorbing lust of the first draft.

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!

ha, well, the final book anyway. on page 22 stumbling around blindly like a vampire in sunlight. wahhhh!
i have a lot to cram into the last book to tie up all the ends and link everything together in a final, book-two-worthy, dramatic conclusion. i hope. but i never know what's going to happen and along the way something TOTALLY different than what i planned might happen. like the total plot-fuck ending of my last book. excuse the language. it was much different than i thought it would be. ah, well, i had to tell what really happened, and in keeping with my characters, that's what really happened. i say, let the bad guys be bad and the good guys be good and those ones you can't quite figure out...well, they can stay an enigma i guess. and if i love the bad guys sometimes and hate the good guys sometimes, then i guess i'm telling the elusive truth of fiction. because that's how people are. at least, the ones in my books.

Rejection.

Well....i got my first two agent rejections. YAY! or whatever you're supposed to say to that. anyway, i'm officially a starving artist now. official because i am putting it out there as opposed to storing it on my jump drive. anyhoo, that's about it.
agent #1 said he had too many clients although his site said he was accepting queries.
agent #2 was not interested, although he assured me someone else would be.
pretty much the equivalent of "it's not you, it's me." But i'm only getting started. someday my agent will come!

"Final Fifty" frenzy.

book five is rapidly drawing to a close. i'm barrelling down on the ending, which turned out to be WAY more dramatic than i had originally thought. i always get so manic towards the end of a book, just wanting to write and write and do nothing else until the book is done. but of course i have work and family and life. and behind that in the back of my mind is always this gnawing need to get it all out.
Well, i certainly got it all out in this book. then on to the final chapter for my dear vampire and his pet. i will be sorry to stop writing about them--i've gotten to know and love them all so much that it will be like saying goodbye to an old friend. i guess i can always go back and read them, but when i'm writing they're so ALIVE.
this book will certainly need some editing, though, and probably some dumbing down of the sex stuff. i've never written anything adult-ish before and i'm not sure how much i can get away with. so i'll probably be cutting a bunch of stuff that's too graphic or whatever. it's not exactly romance-novel stuff, but explicit in a non-sexy way (i think). anyway, the next one will be much different, just as this one was much different from the other four. Not sure how to begin book 6, but by the time i finish book 5 i hope i'll have some idea. if not, i guess i'll just let my fish float at the surface and write my nano-wrimo book. or finish one of the other two books i started and never finished.
happy writing, happy reading!

agent quest begins.

okay, so i've been writing and cooking up ideas for books for some time now, as most people who know me already know. since that's one of the, oh, three things i ever talk about.
anyway, i finally got off my horse (named nervous nelly, of course) and started looking for an agent today. *gulp*
sure, i've diddled around before looking for them and writing down ones i thought sounded feasible. but i've never contacted one. so i finally made myself sit down and send out some queries. six or seven i think. now i only have to wait 4-6 weeks of nerve-wracking, nail-biting, hair-chewing suspense to see if any of them write me back. after two months i figure i'll start another batch. maybe a month. never thought i could get so nervous sitting at my computer. i think i was literally quaking in my shoes when i hit that little SEND button.
but it's the first step, and one day, one day, maybe i'll get an agent, and maybe one day after that, i'll get a publisher. but i'll never know if i dont start writing them. i've been putting it off since, oh, maybe july when i finished my book. i keep finding more reasons to wait. but time is passing and i'm churning out stuff that might be readable, so what the heck. i'm ready to see where this horse is going. giddy up, nervous nelly. :)

book 5

having lots of fun writing this new book, throwing around new character personalities and such. dont know if i'll cut them when i edit (they're fun for now, but not sure yet if they tie into the story), but it makes writing new all over again. thank you cheating lesbian vampires. you're an inspiration to me. :)
so far, i'm getting on pretty well with my dialogue. got some good stuff in there, i think. ready to get rid of my bad guy, though. He's not cooperating so well, and basically, i'm tired of him. need some fresh blood in there, pun intended. soon, soon. can't hurry the story. i'm thinking six and i'm out.

young adult books

so i'm writing my first book for young adults. and it is all so neat and easy peasy! i'm not sure if that's a good thing tho. maybe i'm missing all the complexities? it's for younger kids, middle schoolers. not sure how realistic i am about that age group, but anyway. it's been going okay. i think i'm halfway through plotwise, maybe more, but i'm only on page 50! so i dont know that it will pan out to be a whole book. more like a short story maybe? or maybe i can add things like i did my first vampire book. speaking of, it's so different i'm not sure anyone would ever know it's the same person who wrote them! or it feels like it anyway. so so different writing for 12 year olds than for adults. but it's a nice little break in before my next vampire book. number 5, here we come!

it's a wrap!

thirteen pages and...it's done. had a major write-a-thon yesterday adn cranked out so many pages i dont even know...25 or 30. and now it's done and overwith. until i start the next one of course. so book 5 is stewing and brewing in my mind right now...more adventure coming up. Not sure if i'll make the book into two parts, as the super really important thing that was supposed to happen in book 4 didnt really happen. so that may be part one of the next book and part two should be what it was scheduled. unless things get really out of hand, and i have to write another one.
still waiting on that call from my editor...trying not to be impatient, but i really wanna get on the search for agents, and want to make sure everything is good before i do that. so i'm just praying for patience and waiting it out and distracting myself by writing more. and of course, obsessively checking my email. once i hear from her, and pay her, and get her my book, and hear back from her, and edit her suggestions...then i can look for an agent. And that's going to be the hard part. but i'm not giving up yet.

romance novels and fish and stuff.

getting really excited about this next part...and turns out i'm better at the cheesy romantic stuff than i thought! at least in writing. in life, can't say anything about that. but having so much fun writing again. last week thought i was getting burned out, but now i've found the river and the fish again and they are swimming like mad. maybe it's writing the young adult genre. not sure, but i cannot wait to write the next fifty pages, or the next book, for that matter. off i go, whoot whoot!

really, dont even ask about the fish. it's just a thing i use.

phew, glad that's over.

so my major freak-out day has come and gone and i'm still here, writing along. had a really good writing session last night, although a lot of it was wonderfully pre-packaged as i'd already written the scene a month ago and just had to plunk it down in the right spot and tweak a few things to fit unexpected changes. i'm coming up on a big turning point and so excited! the whole course of the story is going to change here in the next hundred pages. then it's on to book numba five, yo!
^^^^^not sure why i did that. sometimes things just come over me so i just go with it.

also, so excited about nanowrimo, even though i couldnt wait to start my planned novel so i (accidentally) wrote 20 or so pages of it in the last 2 days and now i'm going to have to do something else for it. That's okay too, though, since i have 2 more ideas that have been rolling around my head for months and years, respectively. well, voila and that's that. for now.

next stop, insanity station.

on the verge of total mental collapse, i fear. or is it that terrifying beast called burnout? i see the vultures circling...caw caw. wait, that's what crows say. what do vultures say anyway?

in other news, i've started a new book for young adults as i'm not sure where my vampire is going. he's currently hiding and refusing to tell me where he's going and what's going on. so i'm putting him aside for later. see how he likes that.

Well, that went well, i think.

never post a blog when you're angry.

yeah, so i'm on my fourth book, which was supposed to be my third, but my third got too long so i had to cut it off and start a fourth, and now my characters arent ready for what's supposed to happen to them in the fourth book. crap!!!! am i really going to have to write another book b/c they refuse to do what i want when i want it? they're like pesky children, all of them. why can't they do things on my schedule? after all, if it werent for me, they wouldnt even exist. You'd think they'd show a little appreciation now and then and do something nice in return, but noooo...

Nano-wrimo

okay, so i hate to sound like a broken record, but since i am in fact a broken record i guess i'll accept that fact and go ahead and post this.

november is national novel writing month, as some informed people may know. Nano-wrimo stands for that whole mouthful of words. So the basic idea of nanowrimo's website is that you pledge, with many other aspiring and already thriving novelists, to start and finish the first draft of a 50,000 word novel during the month of november. at first i was skeptical, but now i think i'm going to go for it and i invite all others to join me. you can update your word count every day, look at excerpts from other novels, read about the struggles and triumphs and utter fails of all the other writers on there. Should be fun. and feel free to make fun of me if you see me wasting time on the website. for more information or to sign up for the challenge, visit the website. (plus, you get a cool badge saying you're a participant).

disclaimer, i am in no way affiliated with this project or website, except that i'm participating and want people to know about it. And no, i'm not getting paid to spread the news all over the place on every kind of social media i have. i've just been doing that b/c i'm a loser and have nothing else to do. :)

the waiting game

so i sent my blog off to three friends for opinions. two days ago...still waiting for the first comment.
tortured suspense. here's my yesterday.
check text messages.
go to work. check email.
work.
check email. still nothing.
check texts.
get off work. go home. check text messages. still nothing.
do regular stuff. listen to The Other Boleyn girl.
take a drive. check texts.
obsess about king henry VIII and the Boleyns.
check Facebook. check email. still nothing.
think about vampires and Boleyns.
wish i'd brought my latest disc of Tudors with me.
check email. check fb. check texts.
go to bed. dream about losing my camera at a party.
wake up. repeat.

nervousness

so i read over my first book of the series, and i'm ready (relatively speaking) to send it off to a friend for the purpose of editing and suggestion. i'm so nervous! i know i shouldnt be, but i can't help it. just like when i meet with my editor friend, i'm always on my last nerve. it's nerve-wracking showing so much work to someone and knowing there's a fifty-fifty shot they'll go, 'what were you thinking? that's the worst book i've ever read! i can't believe i wasted all my time reading that, you talentless bird-brain.' or something like that. probably not to my face, since they're friends. But behind my back, anything goes. maybe i should just go to a conference and let strangers tell me that. at least then i wouldn't have to face the pitying looks,(can you believe she thought that was a good idea?)
oh, well, guess you never know til you try. might as well get it over with and move on to the next thing. besides, i dont want an editor thinking i'm nuts for trying...i'd rather have a friend tell me. at least then i can pretend they dont really mean it.
so here goes nothing. or everything, depending on my frame of mind at any given moment. yes, i know i'm a wreck. it's part of the job description.

finito

finished book 3 yesterday, and on to book 4 soon. editing the first book and looking for agents soon. here we go...found 3 agents who look interesting. not sure how i'm going to change book 1. still looking at it and not sure if i'm happy with it. that probably means that i'm not. but so far i'm not seeing how i can make it a better but i'm not feeling everything is perfect yet. or as good as it can get. i want it a certain way and i want to keep it like that for my own selfish artistic reasons, but i know i shouldnt if i want other people to like it. hrrmm. i guess that's always the struggle, and maybe i'm just being stubborn and not wanting to stray from my original ideas of how it should be, and if i just did it anyway, maybe it would be a lot better. who knows, it's late and i'm rambling. and so excited about starting the next step of the journey.
this next book will be a more settled one with more in-depth character journey than outward journey. i have an idea of where it will lead, but not sure how they'll get there. and that's the exciting part.

Fail

my computer has been in the shop since wednesday morning, which is of course a major bummer. but i've had work (the kind i get paid for) so it wasn't all that bad. remembering i have a real job is sometimes good for me. but i missed writing so bad!
so glad to get back to it next time i have a day (or a couple hours) off. had time to ruminate on some of my story elements, realize i needed a concrete conflict for this book that's turning out to be more like two or three. So having each one develope a separate conflict is going to be harder than i thought at first, when i only had to worry about one. But i think i've got it mostly figured out. Time to get writing.

page 220

did i really write a hundred pages between friday and monday? well, yes. super excited about where this is going but have a feeling it may turn into an extra book i hadn't planned on. which is good, in a way, since i'm still not sure about the first book. each book is supposed to take place over one year, but i'm about two thirds of the way through the third book and only on the first season, so...
fun fun times. never want to do anything else but write write write every spare moment i have. i think that's a good sign.

website

lovely website for aspiring writers.

www.agentquery.com

good guidelines, advice, and a ton of agents.

Book 3 begins

so i had the weekend off and man was it hard. i kept thinking of scenes i wanted to write. they seemed really long in my head, but when i sat down they only took up a page or two and they werent good and fresh anymore. that's what i get for not letting myself write.
however, this book is going to be totally different, or so far it is. i'm only on page 20 so hard to tell, of course. but i wanted each one to be a different kind of book. i'm not sure how that will work out, but i like it so far. it's like i'm not writing a series but sort of like i am. hard to explain.
i'm just starting to dig, and i'm super excited! i can't wait to see what's buried under there. last time i started digging it got pretty intense, so we'll see what happens this time. whatever happens, i'm ready for it (i think).
let the excavation begin.

to wrap or not to wrap.

so i finished the story, and then i thought, do i need to have a conclusion? so i wrote one (maybe 10pgs, not long) and now i'm not sure if i want it at the end of book 2 to wind things down from the big ending scenes, or if i should put it at the beginning of book 3 to start things out and link it to book 2, or if i should just toss it and let the ending be unsatisfying. hmmm. decisions, decisions.

procrastination

yep, that's what i'm doing right now. not writing.


2hrs later:

REACHED PAGE 300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWHOOOOT WHOOT!!!
(you can't see but i'm doing a celebratory dance. it really adds a lot to the whoot whoot).

i just noticed i use a lot of parentheses in my blogs.

i dont want to brag, but OMG, is it possible to be in love with a book?
i sat down and wrote thirty pages today (trust me, that's a very good day) and i was in the zone. i dont know if they'll ever see that light of day, ie, the eye of a publisher, but can i just say i love my book without being a total egomaniac?
but who am i kidding? Writers are all egomaniacs. the very act is one of ego. i mean, i'm saying that reading my book is the very best way for you to spend $10-20 and five hours of your life you'll never get back. i better think it's good.
so, let's just say, today is a very good day in my writing life. everything is coming together well, although in sometimes unexpected ways, and (almost) everything will wrap up in a few more chapters. or that's the plan right now. planning a book turned out to be a lot like planning life, though--you can plan all you want, but characters (like people) dont always do what you want, so the book ends up going places you didnt necessarily plan. much like life (mine anyway).
on a different, please dont think you have to hate the bad guys in all books. i always love mine. i hope if you ever read my books, you'll find them as twistily delightful as i do.

Mad about Madmen

was at a good spot churning it out towards the end of part two (or maybe book 2) but i got distracted...darn MADMEN! why are you so addictive? maybe it's my fascination with all the beautiful, strong, gutsy women. i would totally be Peggy Olsen (or so i like to think). also, sal romero...so hilarious in his 'bye bye birdie' ad description. well, i guess that's why the show is so good. one of the best shows i know, and not that much even happens. it's so good i can watch nothing happening and still love it.

chatting with brad

how goes the wangster?

getting your writing on? i saw the other day you were starting a blog

7:32pmMe
u mean gabe ;) ?

yep yep. writing about writing. fascinating stuff, let me tell ya

7:33pmBrad
i saw a book today at the library....and now the title is gone out of my head...but the catchline was something about "the president's guardian vampire" and i thought of you and can't wait till i see your book at the library :)

7:33pmMe
haha thanks. you may be waiting a while.

7:34pmBrad
no problem...i think its cool though that you are trying to do it

7:34pmMe
yeah, well, it's probably a pipe dream or whatevs. i guess when i stop writing i'll start looking for agents & editors. know any?

7:34pmBrad
i get little thoughts in my head sometimes about little stories i could write, but then "poof" they are gone and i don't think about it again for a while

ummmmm, i bet there are tons of agents here in nashville....and i do know one editor, she mostly does science editing, but i'm sure she could edit a book

7:35pmMe
u should write short stories. apparently that's the foot in the door u need. but i never have ideas for short stories. i have ideas for four and five novel series.

7:37pmBrad
yeah, but i have no idea how to get started...i guess i could google it :) anyway, i can edit for you too! i have been reviwing manuscripts for some journals for science stuff....

plus then i get a first draft look at it

and know the story beore anyone else

and can blackmail you not to sell secrets

7:39pmMe
well you just start writing. that's all i can say. most writers throw away the first few paragrapsh or even pages or chapters in a book. you always sound stiff at first but once you get going in your natural voice, that's when it gets good.

7:40pmBrad
yeah....i was reading this book called "girls, drums, and dangerous pie" and in the back they had an interview with the author, and he gave alot of tips on how to start writing books and stuff, it was pretty interesting

7:40pmMe
i encourage all attempts, even if they dont pan out. i mean, what do you have to lose? a few hours that would have been spent watching tv, that's about all. and you're being creative instead. come on brad, be my writing buddy!

7:40pmBrad
where he gets his insperation for charachter traits, and lines, etc.....

7:40pmMe
OOOOH, totally have read that book and the interview! i really liked what he said about taking a walk b/c i totally do some of my best thinking while i walk.

7:41pmBrad
ok, but i can't write about vampires, cuz they suck..you know...vampires suck :D ..... and that was a good book, but SO SAD!

7:42pmBrad
and now i am reading the most violent, gruesome book ever!

7:43pmMe
oooh, fun. what book?

7:44pmBrad
its called "battle royal"....richard lent it to me to read....

7:44pmMe
and vampires do suck...i just watched that movie the other day!

Richard is my other writing buddy. he's also gonna write about vampires.

7:44pmBrad
its a japanese book about a jr. high class that get put on an island by the goverment and they have to kill each other tll one is left

i bet richard has quite the imagination

7:45pmMe
oh, so kinda like "Lord of the Flies" meets "Survivor"?

7:45pmBrad
meets "texas chainsaw massacare"

7:45pmMe
LOL. nice.

did you finish the Nancy Farmer book?

House of the Scorpion (?)

7:47pmBrad
yeah...its just VERY descriptive in the death.........oh, no i didn't get that one yet, i'm trying to get it on CD, but so far the CDs are all checked out, and they have it on playway, but i can't listen to that in my car....its all very frustrating :D

but i got Raven's Gate today on CD, via Anna's suggestion

7:48pmMe
DEFINITELY listen to it. the guy who reads it is really good--so good i looked him up to see if he read anything else. never heard of raven's gate...what's that?

7:48pmBrad
dunno, Anna said i would like it

i didn't start it yet

7:50pmMe
i'm still trying to get her to read The Great Gatsby.

7:50pmBrad
i never read that....good? i know its like a classic or whatever

7:51pmMe
So good. esp. on audio. that guy reads just perfect for the book.

7:53pmBrad
i might have to try that one....it takes me a while to get through an audio book though b/c my work is only 3 miles from home :)

7:53pmMe
it's only 5 disks, i think. and so worth every second. plus, i quote it in one of my books :)

7:54pmBrad
nice!

7:54pmMe
i'm posting this convo in my blog. do i have your expressed written consent?

7:54pmBrad
and you quote me, of course

haha....sure, but don't make me out to be a bad guy or anything ;) i know how you writers like to use quotes :P

7:55pmMe
i haven't quoted you in my book yet. it would be hard, seeing as how it's 200yrs in the future. but i was thinking about working Angry Muffins into one of my other books. :)

7:56pmBrad
haha! do it!

oh, you know though, i could make a camio (sp?) in one of your books...i could be the "rock star" vampire....with spikey hair and eye makeup


7:59pmMe
lol, more likely one of my other books.

7:59pmBrad
one of your trashy romance novels? :P i could be the bad guy

8:01pmMe
hey, my romance novels arent trashy, lol...tho i think actually the one i quoted Fitzgerald in is the one that will never see the light of day because it is trashy. too bad :(

8:02pmBrad
you could be a multi-gene author...just use a ghost pen name for the trashy stuff

genre

nto gene

hmmm, i'm having issues with typing

8:03pmMe
well, i think i'll be going. nice talking to u. read my blog if you ever feel totally bored or really need to fall asleep, lol! or maybe if u need some writing advice. (in future blogs)

8:03pmBrad
sounds good...stay golden ponyboy

writing wars

why is it so hard to make myself sit down and write? i'm inspired and my story is moving along well, and yet i'd do just about anything to avoid sitting down at the computer. And then when i do, i literally cannot stop writing. i say, 'i'm going to write ten pages,' and then twenty five pages later...things that make you go hmmm.

Taking Off

I was about ready to give up on my novel. I just couldn’t get it right, and nothing seemed to click like I thought it should. It was much harder than I expected. I had to think everything through and it all seemed plotted and uninspired. I still may toss my first one and just take some of the backstory and put it in the second.
I was about fifty pages into the second one, which is three hundred pages into the story, when POW! My vampire came to life. Not sure who to credit with that. Maybe my redneck woman. Anyway, I’m pretty happy about it, and the inspiration at this point. New things are popping up and the shape of things is becoming clearer. Yes, I know the ending (of this book at least, though not the ending to the whole thing yet) but I’m not sure what other twists and turns will show up on the road before I get there. I’m just holding on for the ride, seeing where the story goes. It’s pretty fun.

Hello!

So I'm just getting set up on here and trying to figure everything out. SOMEBODY told me it was easy... should know not to listen to website designers about these things!
Anyway, here goes nothing.
Or, rather, something, about me.
Disclaimer: if you ever read any of my work (the real stuff) I am highly opposed to exclamation points. However, I can't seem to stop using them online. Actually, I haven't really tried to stop using them, because i like them on my blogs. Also, I don't pay much attention to little things like capitalization when i'm blogging. sorry. consider this a brainstorming, freewriting, unselfconscious first draft.
and dont criticize my grammar choices. there's no law against adverbs on a blog. Or adjectives for that matter. i like those things. i'm an English major. if they aren't used, then what were they invented for?