This book's for you!

So, yesterday I posted a list of reasons why someone might not like my books. Then I thought, that was a little discouraging. I wouldnt want to tell people not to read my books, after all. So I thought I'd make a more positive list today. Here it is. Ten reasons someone might actually want to read my books.

You might want to read my books if:

1. You like getting to know the characters more than a ton of action sequences
2. You don’t mind people who swear, smoke, drink, and otherwise misbehave
3. You like amusing dialogue that makes you squirm a little sometimes
4. You can overlook a lot of character flaws and still like someone
5. You don’t mind a mixed-bag ending or one that’s more hopeful than happy
6. You throw a book against the wall but you’re still likely to pick it up and finish it
7. You can deal with a lot of pop culture references, even if you don’t know them
8. You like smirky guys
9. You can love a character who has absolutely nothing exceptional about her
10. You don’t mind if no one smolders.

Not for me.

I'm a little behind on posting since I had the flu and was out of commission for a while. Here's another post to make up for it. Plus, I find lists are a great way to procrastinate when I should be writing.

When querying, the standard rejection letter can be boiled down to one line, or three little painful words: Not for me. That's the polite way to decline a query letter. So, in honor of rejection letters, here is ten reasons why someone might find that my writing is not for them.

You might NOT want to read my books if:

1. You expect the guy to be all sappy and romantic or metrosexual
2. You want lengthy descriptions of how people look/how hot they are
3. You don’t like the C-word, F-word, or B-word
4. You don’t like the D-word or any other anatomically exact words used to insult someone
5. You have a problem with age disparity in couples
6. You don’t want any of the characters to die
7. You only like books that end shiny and happy for all the characters
8. You don’t like books with sex/people who talk about sex a lot
9. You want someone to hold your hand and explain every sentence
10. You don’t like books with fantastical elements (vampires, clones, psychics, oh my!)

query insanity

Someone once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Sorry, I’m not sure who said that. But it brings to mind a certain habit of trying-to-get-published writers. This particular habit, which in itself is the definition of insanity, is called querying. I personally find the process grueling, disheartening, and overall a little degrading, as I’m pretty much begging for an agent to give me a read-through. I query, and query, and change my letter, and change my letter, and query some more. And all the time…nothing. But if I don’t expect a different result, then I’d probably go more insane than it’s already making me. I have to keep hoping, which is roughly the same thing as expecting a different result. So to sum things up, hope is the definition of insanity. Maybe I need a new definition of insanity.