Writer Wednesday: Poetry: Regret

I saw you in the library yesterday
It had been some years
You didn’t seem to know me so I let you walk away
Said I’d made a mistake and thought you were someone else
Even though there were things I wanted to say.

Maybe you’d forgotten me
But I still remember everything,
How good it used to be—
You with your strong hands
That loved touching me,
How good you were to me
Even when I didn’t deserve it,
Your complete honesty
And how I wondered what was the point
When you said you didn’t believe in monogamy
The day you said you wouldn’t light my cigarettes
Because you didn’t like me smoking,
After we watched that movie and I was a mess
So you drove me around listening to Nine Inch Nails
And talking about the silly way I’d dressed
Until I felt better and we went to karaoke
And you told me about your dead sister
And you tried to dance with me
Because you remembered that I liked surprises
And you thought you could plan spontaneity.

I’d thank you for it now if I could
If I could stop you before you were gone and say
“I’m glad that once I had a man like you,” I would
A man who tried to teach me to drive a stick,
And made me believe that sometimes life is good,
And never pushed me under the sheets,
Who joined in when I showed my crazy side
Even though it made him feel awkward and silly
And let me be comfortable with it all,
Who only faltered a second when I showed up with my entire family
And told him to go get dressed
Because we were going out to dinner for no reason
All wearing our best
And I wanted a date
To go with my ridiculous dress.

I know I should follow you up the stairs
And make you remember the awful dinners you cooked
And when you took me to the lake and stood on the pier
And gave me a rose and told me
That I was the only one who made you care,
And how you lit candles for lunch on Sundays
And gave me earrings for my un-pierced ears
And flowers on Valentines Day
And went above and beyond the call of duty
To show me your love in a hundred little ways.

And I guess if I could, I’d also say I’m sorry
That I told you to shut up when you asked if I loved you
That I didn’t do the same when you said you’d only see me
And I’d let you know that sometimes I still wonder what could have been
And I regret that I never called when you said, "If you don't call, I'll know what it means."